Month: September 2023 (Page 1 of 3)

Wanting


The leaves fall about – telling of the 
passage of time
     eyes pierce out of the havoc
     – wanting to soak up all the 
     elements – utilize every sense
The feeling that comes – an unquenched 
     desire for these flickers of outside
     can never completely satisfy
Just then – the wind quiets, a breath
     – a moment of respite – 
     just as it returns in a gust ten-fold 
     in strength that breath – sucked away
Solace scrapped away from fingertips 
     the thrust is great – the spin is strong, 
     the ride continues

Stillness of the morning


Close your eyes
see the beauty that
surrounds that warms
Listen to the stillness
feel the strength of
the quiet
Look far – way out
to the horizon as
it changes its hue
There is so much beauty
here to feel
The sun, its power is immense 
capable of lifting the spirit 
enchanting the coldest soul 
warming it to a smile
Lie still here for just a moment, 
feel the warmth in your face
feel the wondrous life that if 
given the chance, can completely 
engulf you – surrender to this 
beauty.

Blank slate

The counter looks at me – an 
icy-white canvas that’s coolness
penetrates my gaze. 
When the day ends 
lost and tired 
it is a blinding pyramid 
that beacons far and wide 
calling my attention blindingly. 
To tarnish so soon, to stain, 
smear, smudge, and splatter. 
It’s gaze asks where to go, what to 
do, its canvas waits to be created. 

Vienna by Moonlight

Only less than twenty-four hours before, 
they filled the scene as celestial kin. 
The anxious train pulls into the station, 
hesitates with a humming thrill of tomorrow, 
aching as it trembles in the echos of its end, 
then, off again with a magnetism untouched. 
Wanderings in an evening, transient players 
posing as shooting stars – they were there last
night – though no marks were left, no stone etched 
littered by our desire to be remembered, daydream 
delusions, as quickly as the taste of honey pricks 
our tongue, ravaged by the inevitable break of day. 
Now, mists of seething stardust settle on the 
stone, yet know, the pull of dawn will remember 
that they were there that night. 

I Care/Who Cares

What happens when the smile
of reassurance fades –
who cares
when the giver receives no
reciprocation.
What happens when there is
simply too much
too deep
too overrun.
What happens when the
warmth of my words
my actions
find their home
perfectly, I,
calloused and shivering.
What does that leave me?
Why should I care
peeling away
ripping out to
speak what I feel
toward you.
I don’t care,
who cares?

Writing Reflection:

To start the reflection process of my writing for this project, I also should mention that I had a draft of this poem sitting in a journal from the middle of August – a very rough draft, more just some phrases and feelings – that I knew I wanted to write about and explore more fully, especially as I also tend to gravitate towards this writing around the turn of the seasons and my own self-reflection. For the first few drafts of the poem in the book, I stayed pretty close to my original day one entry with the ideas and structures and this emphasis on the heavy connections between the change of the season and the awareness of change within myself – growing up, different versions of youth, etc. But then I knew the emphasis wanted to be on the torn feeling of being in awe of the changes and this feeling that you cannot quite describe. That shifted me away from some of the really heavy, cliche-like phrases into more of a narrative questioning but still some natural imagery. As I moved from draft to draft over the course of the days, I found phrases that I liked and tried to incorporate them in different places within the poem and witnessed how they changed the meaning or reading of the poem. I still am not sure which version best encapsulates the feeling I had – and still have – but I do know that the themes and descriptors of nature and almost this existential awareness and longing can be universal throughout time but also can totally consume one singular moment.

Bookmaking Reflection:

For the bookmaking aspect of this project, I wanted to stick with primarily collage and then add a few emphasizing marks within the poem itself, but to keep it simple. For the imagery, I found some magazine clippings and photos I had in my vogues, New Yorker, etc., and just leafed through until I found something that hit the poem’s feeling. For one, this idea of seasons and nature seemed to play along with the essence of the poem and its drafts, where there is this subtle change but an apprehension to acknowledge it fully and to be conscious of the passage of time. For this, I chose the front and back covers to go together and be cohesive from start to end. There was this great set of an image where a bud was coupled with the word arrival and then a blooming flower labeled departure. I felt this was so evocative and played into my poem, where change doesn’t always mean gloom or decay but can actually indicate growth and a moment of reflection. Other elements, such as the pear and the greenery of trees, were very reminiscent of August and this almost past-ripe, souring of days at the end of summer to then the back cover showcasing a crisp change with more blues and oranges and also this emergence of a mountainous peak and the clock. Within the pages of the drafts themselves, I chose some colors, such as blues and greens, to embellish some of the key phrases or elements of each draft – also the spiraling leaves to match the words of the rustling leaves, some ocean doodles on the drafts with the ocean reference.

Final Poem:

Season’s End

And so, this simple thought just sitting,
asks why the night’s intoxicating luster
blinds us to the overripe morning
whose hour threatens to catch us.
What is it that just sits within yet cannot
clearly be defined through the murky
dew-soaked air.
For it is not sadness, joy, or fear,
and its peak – though never clearly seen –
invites the turn of the scene, each tired
rustle of the leaves chimes of wasted time

Writing Reflection:

To start the reflection process of my writing for this project, I also should mention that I had a draft of this poem sitting in a journal from the middle of August – a very rough draft, more just some phrases and feelings – that I knew I wanted to write about and explore more fully, especially as I also tend to gravitate towards this writing around the turn of the seasons and my own self-reflection. For the first few drafts of the poem in the book, I stayed pretty close to my original day one entry with the ideas and structures and this emphasis on the heavy connections between the change of the season and the awareness of change within myself – growing up, different versions of youth, etc. But then I knew the emphasis wanted to be on the torn feeling of being in awe of the changes and this feeling that you cannot quite describe. That shifted me away from some of the really heavy, cliche-like phrases into more of a narrative questioning but still some natural imagery. As I moved from draft to draft over the course of the days, I found phrases that I liked and tried to incorporate them in different places within the poem and witnessed how they changed the meaning or reading of the poem. I still am not sure which version best encapsulates the feeling I had – and still have – but I do know that the themes and descriptors of nature and almost this existential awareness and longing can be universal throughout time but also can totally consume one singular moment.

Bookmaking Reflection:

For the bookmaking aspect of this project, I wanted to stick with primarily collage and then add a few emphasizing marks within the poem itself, but to keep it simple. For the imagery, I found some magazine clippings and photos I had in my vogues, New Yorker, etc., and just leafed through until I found something that hit the poem’s feeling. For one, this idea of seasons and nature seemed to play along with the essence of the poem and its drafts, where there is this subtle change but an apprehension to acknowledge it fully and to be conscious of the passage of time. For this, I chose the front and back covers to go together and be cohesive from start to end. There was this great set of an image where a bud was coupled with the word arrival and then a blooming flower labeled departure. I felt this was so evocative and played into my poem, where change doesn’t always mean gloom or decay but can actually indicate growth and a moment of reflection. Other elements, such as the pear and the greenery of trees, were very reminiscent of August and this almost past-ripe, souring of days at the end of summer to then the back cover showcasing a crisp change with more blues and oranges and also this emergence of a mountainous peak and the clock. Within the pages of the drafts themselves, I chose some colors, such as blues and greens, to embellish some of the key phrases or elements of each draft – also the spiraling leaves to match the words of the rustling leaves, some ocean doodles on the drafts with the ocean referenced, etc.