Writing Reflection:

To start the reflection process of my writing for this project, I also should mention that I had a draft of this poem sitting in a journal from the middle of August – a very rough draft, more just some phrases and feelings – that I knew I wanted to write about and explore more fully, especially as I also tend to gravitate towards this writing around the turn of the seasons and my own self-reflection. For the first few drafts of the poem in the book, I stayed pretty close to my original day one entry with the ideas and structures and this emphasis on the heavy connections between the change of the season and the awareness of change within myself – growing up, different versions of youth, etc. But then I knew the emphasis wanted to be on the torn feeling of being in awe of the changes and this feeling that you cannot quite describe. That shifted me away from some of the really heavy, cliche-like phrases into more of a narrative questioning but still some natural imagery. As I moved from draft to draft over the course of the days, I found phrases that I liked and tried to incorporate them in different places within the poem and witnessed how they changed the meaning or reading of the poem. I still am not sure which version best encapsulates the feeling I had – and still have – but I do know that the themes and descriptors of nature and almost this existential awareness and longing can be universal throughout time but also can totally consume one singular moment.

Bookmaking Reflection:

For the bookmaking aspect of this project, I wanted to stick with primarily collage and then add a few emphasizing marks within the poem itself, but to keep it simple. For the imagery, I found some magazine clippings and photos I had in my vogues, New Yorker, etc., and just leafed through until I found something that hit the poem’s feeling. For one, this idea of seasons and nature seemed to play along with the essence of the poem and its drafts, where there is this subtle change but an apprehension to acknowledge it fully and to be conscious of the passage of time. For this, I chose the front and back covers to go together and be cohesive from start to end. There was this great set of an image where a bud was coupled with the word arrival and then a blooming flower labeled departure. I felt this was so evocative and played into my poem, where change doesn’t always mean gloom or decay but can actually indicate growth and a moment of reflection. Other elements, such as the pear and the greenery of trees, were very reminiscent of August and this almost past-ripe, souring of days at the end of summer to then the back cover showcasing a crisp change with more blues and oranges and also this emergence of a mountainous peak and the clock. Within the pages of the drafts themselves, I chose some colors, such as blues and greens, to embellish some of the key phrases or elements of each draft – also the spiraling leaves to match the words of the rustling leaves, some ocean doodles on the drafts with the ocean referenced, etc.