Zak: “Is there a solution to Parking.” 

Looking at your headline and sub-head, I know there is a clear, to-the-point issue you will delve into — which is, what are possible solutions to the parking problem at UNE, and is the current policy of allowing freshmen to have cars on campus a part of that? One minor observation on the headline is that it reads as a question, and you might want to add a question mark. But if you want to keep the sub-head the more question-based idea, you could always reword the headline. The lede has great information, especially with the data surrounding the number of residential students and parking lots available, which helps the reader know you have information to back up your story. As we get into the bulk of the story, I think you have a lot of good information and context, like mentioning other schools that don’t allow freshmen to have their cars on campus. There are a few places where you could make sentences/paragraphs a bit more concise – I’m thinking, “When looking at both sides of the debate, it is essential to look at both the positives and negatives of allowing freshman students to have their cars on campus.” – it could be easily implied that if you’re looking to both positive and negatives, that is both sides of the debate. There are some great quotes from the perspective of an upperclassman and two sophomores on their freshman experience. I might suggest that getting a quote from a current freshman in the middle of their first year might be interesting in weighing how strongly students feel. I also really like the angle of weighing the positives and negatives and allowing both sides of the argument. Still, I wondered if you have thought about getting some administrative response or maybe even someone from facilities or safety to give their side of the issue with parking. 

Evan: “Danger on the field” 

The headline is to the point, and as you are drafting, there may be room to add more context to the headline, but the sub definitely connects and lets me know that this story is about the playing surfaces for football. One suggestion I have for the lede since we are practicing a feature/soft news story is that you could use that space that hooks the reader into what your story is all about and save the information about the coach and his history later if needed. I like how you set up the second paragraph where “In an ideal world programs should make the switch.” – it helps reinforce your angle and support the stats you included where most players also feel artificial turf should be switched to natural grass. There are some minor sentence structure/grammar fixes, but there is plenty of time as this is just a draft. I think the quote from the recruiting coordinator helps set up the tensions between player safety on the field and the unique quality of the blue turf at UNE really well. I also noticed how it seems that the ultimate focus is not so much on whether UNE should switch but on raising awareness that this is a conversation happening on all levels, and there are pros and cons to both. This is a great start and raises many follow-up questions and ways to dig deeper into items like the condition of grass vs. turf upkeep; if you wanted to add another quote, I think that could be a great direction. Maybe ask students or community members who watch football if they would find any difference in going to watch games if the uniqueness of the blue field was gone. 

Grace: “America’s Way to Mimick the Walkable City”

I really like your headline – I am immediately interested in how/why the walkable city should be mimicked and want to know more about how the U.S. is doing this. I know we are still in the drafting process, but I think a sub-head would help connect your headline to where your story will go. You have a broad claim in the headline, but it draws me in, and the sub-head could help center your angle. Your lede is also super interesting, and I like how you add some context to how it’s not just at college that people love the feeling of community, but it is something most people still crave as part of the adult world. I think it might be clearer if, again, in the sub-head, you explain that you are referring to the setup of most college campuses as akin to walkable cities. You have great information about the decline of walkable cities in the U.S. as car use became the status quo and how college campuses can be utilized as an example of how to get back to a more humane style of living. Your paragraph about European cities shows you have researched the success of walkable cities in other parts of the world and adds excellent credibility to your piece. The two students you interviewed and incorporated quotes from were very interesting. They have first-hand experience living on-campus in America and Morrocco, which one might think would be very different. The aspect of community and that walkable city feel you highlight are great ways to connect those experiences. I wonder, though, if you have thought of maybe adding quotes from UNE administrators or maybe other students who are from Ameircan cities, and they can add even more context to how college campuses can be a resource to better the layout of our cities. 

Sarah Bourdeau: “Guided Undergraduate Studies; Beginning Undeclared in College”

One thing I noticed when looking at your feature story draft was the format – I think for news-style stories and not academic papers, we might want to keep the headline, sub-headline, and byline aligned left on the page – but this could be a good point to clarify in class through the workshop. Another minor formatting point is the organization of paragraphs, where we might want to get away from the essay style and into that journalistic style of shorter sentences and not indent for new paragraphs. I like the way you are opening up this story by giving the reader some context that the Guided Undergraduate Studies program is for students who have not declared a major without explicitly stating all that in the headline. Moving into the lede, I like how you can anticipate the reader’s next question and keep us moving along the story. The data helps give us context into how many students are undeclared, but if you wanted to, I think it could also be super helpful as context after the lede. Your quotes are also super helpful and provide great credibility with someone like Associate Dean Keirstead. Nearing the end, I feel like you really hone in on the impact of your story in highlighting how the rebranding of undeclared studies helps students not rush into majors they don’t want to be in and placing the importance in valuing students’ interests. One suggestion I have is that if you wanted to interview a student who is maybe an upperclassman and has more experience at UNE, it might be a nice point to showcase how the GUST program helped them get to where they are and offer a nice inspirational example to round off the freshman interview.