Brady:
I really like the tone you are bringing to your headline and subheadline—it feels professional, yet you use creative word choices like “headfirst dive” and “interviewing spree” to keep the reader engaged and hooked on the story. Moving into your lede, I like how you keep it open by not providing all the details, such as which departments or what faculty, but allude to the fact that you will get into the specifics, and that gives me just enough information to keep reading and find out. There are a couple of places, like in the second paragraph, where the wording might feel a bit choppy, but as you continue to draft and maybe read aloud for some pauses or breaking points, I think it will have a great impact. I like your quote from a newly hired research librarian, Conner, as it brings a nice, timely aspect to your article that backs up your claim in the subheading that there have been a lot of new hires in the last year. I know you are still drafting and editing, but I definitely think having a direct quote from Prof. Woodworth would help give you some credibility and then allow you to expand on her words rather than just trying to relay them. One last point you might think about as you continue is what angle you are bringing – maybe it’s a glimpse into only the hiring process, or maybe you could bring in more of what Woodworth sets up for in why so many positions are open or needed.

Nate:
I am definitely intrigued by your headline, and it does have a very jarring element to it. Maybe you could add just a bit more of that perspective/context to your subheadline – I’m thinking of something that could let us know that it isn’t really a debt issue you are raising; it is more of a financial burden on students compared to what they think is doable. You do a great job of formatting your story – it reads smoothly across the page, and the information is separated really well. I also thought the nut graph-type paragraphs that disclosed how UNE is a private institution and how that makes a significant difference compared to federally funded universities was a great point in adding context. I like your three student quotes — I think they give a good idea of the mood and realities from a student’s perspective. You also balanced that well with getting a bookstore employee’s side. If you do have a direct quote from that encounter, that might be nice to incorporate and allow you to expand on that rather than try to reiterate what they said. One last minor question I have is if you were to ask someone who works in the bookstore who is not a student about what they have noticed in the past decade or so, how many students actually use the bookstore at all? That might give you great stats to bolster your impactful statement at the end, where you question if UNE should even have a physical bookstore.

Gage:
This is a very interesting story, and I especially like how your headline opens up the question and leaves us wanting to know more about the specifics. Then, moving into your subhead, it leads us to a more narrow-angle about student satisfaction toward the campus center. In your lede, you also allow for more specifics, such as the size and functionality, which connects us back to the headline. There might be a few spots in the lede that could sound repetitive, but as you keep drafting and reading some parts aloud, you might find some areas for concision. I really like how you provide some of that necessary information following the lede with the times of day that are super busy and also direct experience from someone who has had years of working out there and is now a part of the staff for the football team. You have a good flow from this more informative section into your transition to the angle of impacting fitness goals and overall well-being. I also like how you can weave in some possible solutions. One thing I might want to know as a reader is what current students think and maybe even their ideas for potential solutions – adding a couple of quotes like that could help a lot.